Room 795.

Ok, so the check in went rather smoothly. Loads of smiles and of course even more information on COVID19 via photocopies and pamphlets. After waiting for the person in front of me to enter a lift, I was taken to my room by a security guard. He seemed afraid of me in the lift, keeping an incredibly firm distance in such a confined space and trying his hardest not to look at me. I felt diseased or physically repulsive to his eyes, but in reality it was just his fear of the unknown, something that the media has done so well: creating a sense of panic and sadly even fear.

Now, don't get me wrong and start messaging me with words like "neglect" or "irresponsible," I am only stating how I felt and what I saw. Fear is not always presented in an obvious form, many times it comes across as a feeling or a look, either way you will know it when you are faced with it. Today I was most definitely faced with it and I don't blame him. We are living in incredibly strange times and after all, we are only human. Our complexities are rife at the moment.

My room was everything I thought it would be: big, modern, clean and very, very "casino" like. On first inspection I was stoked with what seemed like a never ending supply of hotel amenities and strangely, Kit Kats. I had around 5 Kit Kat packets which made me weirdly happy until the reality set in that this was all we were getting for the next two weeks. Oh sorry, and those "three, free meals a day provided by the Victorian government" as I have been told over and over again by everyone I have spoken to.

After a two hour wait and countless calls for my two bags to be brought up to my room, I finally received them. I excitedly opened them and removed clothes, toiletries and anything else that would make me feel more at home. Then it hit me. Why am I rushing to unpack like I need to get to the pool before it closes? I can't leave my room and if I do, I could be fined $20,000 and/or go to jail. Things just got real. REAL.

After the realisation that isolation is now very real and began to set in, I took a shower and decided that a lie down might just be the best thing for me. Three hours later and I woke up feeling a little disorientated and incredibly hungry. I remembered that a representative from the Victorian government had told me that all meals would be left in front of our doors. Sure enough, there was my lunch!

Inside was a lovely greek style salad and soup. The soup, which had obviously been sitting there for a while was now cold. I called the hotel concierge to see if someone could re heat the soup for me. "Sorry, we don't offer that service." Wow. Ok. I mean, a 20 + hour flight, change of time zone and a complete new and bizarre situation of forced quarantine will knock the wind out of you, so forgive me for falling asleep due to exhaustion and mental overload. "We don't offer that service," ridiculous.

A few hours later and dinner arrived. I can't complain re the food, especially as I have been reminded so many times that these meals are "for free," like I am being ungrateful or something. What an incredibly bizarre first day this has been. My first time back in my home country after having been away for over six years, and I am feeling so many things: relief, sadness, confusion, longing for my family and weirdly, trapped. I know this is temporary, but when you don't have certainty and those "in the know" seem to have little to no knowledge of what is going on, everything just seems so surreal and messy.

This too shall pass.